Poem: Not Yet Titled

Ambivalence hangs in the air
Like a numbness
With my heart standing back
Not because it wants to
If only Love could motivate and illuminate this
Because there surely must be better
Than this nagging ache in this space
But fear or whatever it is
Has pushed me far and away again
You'd wished we'd found one another six years ago
And the next morning you feared being worthy of marriage
While I never brought up such things
Only ever wanted to take things slowly step after step
Later, somehow, “turn and run”
What you wanted to convince me of, why?
As if I were making some mistake on you
As if someone genuinely caring were an error...