Early Mornings and Prayers

This morning after four and a half hours of of sleep, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. It was 5:30 to be exact. That seems to be the normal time of rising most recently. Without fighting for more sleep, I got out of bed and got on my hands and knees to pray. There's been a lot to say to God and talk with Him about. My heart has been heavy with the burden of prayer for quite some time. God's kingdom. Italy. North Carolina. Friends. Relationships. The one God spoke about.

I almost lost it last night after reading a post mentioning trying to be forgotten and a poem about a conversation...


On a much more personal note, a prayer...

Lord, You know my heart. It's trembling in Your hands. What You said is what You said. I made a promise not only to him but also to You. I've repented for my past actions and words. Though we have broken our promise that does not mean that You have. You promised us to each other and no one else. We never had to ask for Your approval because You made it exceedingly clear that it was already granted. In tough times where we wanted to give up, it was You that changed our hearts and helped us to see through Your eyes. Even now, it is You that's changing our hearts. Even though we have tried, You won't let us forget what You have said. Everything, even my not being able to forget him while I was with someone else, was orchestrated by You. I couldn't run from Your will no matter how hard I tried. And now, when I say it is him or no one, it's only because I'm fully convinced of what You've said and continue to speak. And I mean it. I don't believe You're a liar or are dualistic and would speak about two men or two women. You spoke only about one. It was clear to both of us. With this said, please continue to deal with our hearts in kindness and gentleness. May no one label their will as Yours for no glory will result. Grant us wisdom, understanding, and peace. Jesus, You are my Husband above all else. Please continue to help me to wait patiently, as You have lead, despite the circumstances before me. In You my faith and heart will not be moved. Thank You for continuing to calm my heart in these matters. In Jesus' name. Amen.