Grateful for MD and for Home

For a while, I must admit that I have stared at this screen not knowing what to write, but knowing everything I wanted to write at the same time. I still wrestle with privacy and what to write here versus what to just keep on the interior or on the pages of my journal. And it might sound a bit crazy if you know this, but I do wrestle with shyness from time to time. So with these things in mind, I will say one thing...I am grateful.

I am grateful that I have friends that are loving, patient, hilarious, strong willed, and forgiving not only all over the US, but here in MD. And I sometimes wish there had been 48 hours in a day rather than only 24; but nonetheless, there have been some really wonderful and patient people here that have not only dealt with me but my lack of time. It's the things like being warmly welcomed back into a group and not being asked 10 million questions as to why I've been quiet or away for so long, but lovingly and joyfully accepts me back that make me grateful. It's the friends that I can be totally transparent with and not worry for fear of judgment that make this place feel more like home. It's the person that's patient and caring enough to wade through the gray of what is into the beauty of what could be and the people I've slowly and at first reluctantly let into the interior of my life that make me grateful for this place.

It's taken a long time for me to think of this state as home and allow healthy connections grow rather than to remain unattached. I've been finding that this now 3 year ground that was once filled with so much pain, is being renewed to be a place of beauty that can be called home. It's becoming a place where I can say I want these people in my life not just momentarily; but these are the people I want to invest my life and my time in for as long as He permits.

With these thoughts I await a new season, a season called "home." It's about time this lonely wanderer found such a thing :)