Over the past week, I have thought much about what it means to be a woman in this time period. And I've been finding more and more that singleness is a good grounds for exploring such grounds. I understand that my thoughts on this matter will continually be changing as my life changes, but I am at a point of discovering who I am at this point in life. Over the past year or so, I've grown more comfortable with things that are gray and not black and white. Individual identity will always be a gray area since we're all continually evolving.
But to be more concrete concerning the thoughts of recent; there seems to be a dichotomy concerning what it means to be a woman in today's society--neither side of which seems to be an accurate perspective of what it means to be a woman in the 21st Century. As a side note, my observations have also lead me to believe that what it means to be a man in today's society is also in a state of gray limbo. For women, there have been two predominant points of view concerning their societal roles. The first perspective found it's height in 50's with the Betty Crocker and Suzie Homemaker stereotypes. One of my favorite authors Virgina Wolfe coined the term "angel in the house" and it also applies to this stereotype. Basically, she is to only be about matters of the home and family and doesn't have a real need for a career since her loving hubby can provide for everything--which is an unnecessary weight on him in my opinion when applied to today's demands and needs (but that generally an accepted fact concerning the status of our economy). On the other end of the spectrum are the "bra burners," the radical hippies that rebelled against almost everything the 50's stood for. For those of us in our late 20's and older, that means our mothers.
Now, my mother was always one to say, "Don't rely on a man for anything." I don't agree with the extremity of the statement, but it does speak to an extreme independence that I myself tend to tote. Her statement also speaks to the broader fear that no one can be truly trusted and that no one is truly reliable. Neither of these things I agree with either, but I have been realizing that they do have root in me. (Side note: Thankfully, God's working on that fear/distrust.) I've wrestled with the extreme independence that says, "I'm woman, hear me roar!" as well as the motherly instincts that were taken to the extreme of imprisoning women in the 1950's and prior and saying they were only to be mothers and to tend to the home. Both identities are cages. One only embraces family and domesticity while the other puts career and oneself above all else, all important relationships, and important bonds.
Therefore this is the conclusion I come to, I cannot be encaged by either identity. Neither is right. I want a vibrant career yet I want to have a loving family someday, but I realize I am not superwoman. The "superwoman," the woman who can tend to every need of her husband, kids, home, and career perfectly is an entirely different cage. If I could be a minor superhero and have another minor superhero by my side to balance everything and be equal with, that would suffice :P
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