For the past year or so, I've dealt with a dilemma concerning this blog. Ex-boyfriend's girlfriends have used it as a means to keep tabs on me and the fidelity of their men. Potential romantic interests have used it as a means of getting the inside scoop on my thoughts. An ex-fiance will also stop here from time to time. Quite frankly, I have wrestled with the public eye and the desire to be anonymous yet known all at the same time. It's strange that I have no problem writing about the inner workings of my heart and life while complete strangers read, but I have a problem with being known by the people I should keep an open door to. I guess this blog is the middle layer between personal journal and professional writing.
It is an uncomfortable place to be at times. Some people use their blogs as political soap boxes, some use them as if they are business webs sites, and others to display various talents such as photography. But for me, this blog and all that it does and does not say is a platform of me. It is a ground for me to get comfortable with you as my reader and for me to exercise a more informal, personal, yet public writing voice. There are a lot of personal things that I start writing here, but for various reasons don't publish. At times my voice is incredibly loud here and at others it's barely audible.
At certain points in time I have thought of killing this thing that I created so long ago, but for various reasons it lives. If I'm going to write a book and use my name, I need to get used to the idea of friends, strangers, and less than ideal connections reading my work. For the purpose of privacy and any future relations, I've considered using a pseudonym. If you've kept-up with this blog for some time, you've heard me mention this before. There are positives and negatives to each option, but no conclusion has yet to be reached.
So with all of this said, welcome. Thanks for reading and being patient with me as your writer as I get more comfortable with the idea of having a real audience, you.
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