Of Needles and Hay...

Last night, I had a conversation over IM with a friend in TX around 1:30 this morning. The following is part of our conversation and spured from my quote, "Finding a good man is like looking for a needle in a haystack." It might shed some light on the whole "nice guys finish last" myth.

ME: Why do you think people reject you?
HIM: not sure, i guess i dont look good enough
or they say they want something, but really just want a douchebag
ME: You're not a model, but you're not ugly
you're just your average, warm hearted guy
HIM: and that gets me nowhere
ME: and there are lots of women that are sick of the pretty boys/ bad boys
It gets you further than them, because you're real and not up for games.
HIM: maybe in a perfect world
ME: games waste time and wound hearts
oh shut up
really
stop it
rather than think of what you don't have
You MUST think of what you do have and sell yourself on that
HIM: I think im done putting effort into it
ME: If I were there I'd smack some sense into you
:P
HIM: wouldn't help
ME: Oh yeah it would...
you haven't had my kind of sense
:P
HIM: :-\
ME: It's set many a man straight
male friend that is
really...
you need to think of what good things you have and believe that they are worth good in return
nice guys don't finish last
they have fewer divorces
HIM: I don't want any
ME: and life long, lasting, deeper and more intimate relatioships
Nice guys are part of the hidden treasures of the world
Finding a good man is like looking for a needle in a haystack
these are all TRUE statements
HIM: too bad girls prefer finding hay
ME: not true
most often we can't recognize hay from needles until we have our hearts broken a time or two by hay
but we learn
and we don't settle for hay
we save ourselves for needles
those are the ones we want to marry
and have children with
and grow old with
NOT hay
Do you hear me?
HIM: yea
ME: I'm speaking as a woman to you...
so you can't say women don't think like that
I'm speaking to you as a woman who has had relationships with "hay" and ended it because they were "hay"
As a woman who's saving herself for a needle
the right one
HIM: and broke the hearts of who knows how many "needles" on the way
ME: what?
I never intended to break any hearts
never
HIM: who knows how many good guys have liked you, and got passed up because you went after the bad one instead
ME: You have no idea how many bad boys I've turned down looking for the right one
you have no idea
my personal "hay" has been the guys that wear sheeps clothing...
the ones that seem to have everything right from being involved in the community to adoring their mothers
but it was all FAKE
And if there were needles along the way... they never asked me out
they never made a real attempt to let me know of their feelings
or their timing was wrong
HIM: sorry
ME: if they did
no need to appologize
I'm just telling you like it is
I've never been into "bad boys"
ask anyone that's known me for a long time and they will tell you the same
HIM: i believe you
ME: There are good women out there that have been decieved...
don't fault them for it
look for those women
those who are looking for neeles in a haystack of wrong men
she's out there...
I believe that
She's not me...
but I believe she's out there
and...
you're being awfully quiet
HIM: just listening
so to speak